verbosity

Your duty as a man

Attention all males. It is your responsibility to know how to change an automobile wheel (commonly and somewhat incorrectly referred to as tire-changing). To fail in this task is to fail in manhood, and your license can and will be revoked. Specifically, make sure you know:

1) how to properly block tires.
2) how to position and operate multiple styles of jack.
3) how to remove and reattach hub caps.
4) of, and how to remove locking lugnuts.
5) which side of a full spare or donut-spare goes to the outside.
6) the proper lugnut tightening order.

There are more details to pay attention to than those that I've covered, but I trust you'll do sufficient research on your own if your knowledge is incomplete. If you've never changed a wheel, I suggest you practice, lest you look a fool when the moment of truth arrives. Otherwise, some bald punk in slacks, a collared shirt, and a leather jacket will arrive and skillfully bail out the damsel in distress that you were so desperately trying to impress, dirtying his khakis because of your ineptitude.

Ladies, I am by no means suggesting that you're incapable of changing a wheel, and I applaud those with mechanical prowess (a girl who changes her own oil definitely turns me on). I am merely addressing the probability that a woman who is not comfortable with changing her own flat will seek assistance, whereas a man will stubbornly refuse help, professing ability that he may not have. That's a recipe for injury or vehicular damage. If you don't want a bruised ego or body, know your basic automobile tasks.

And for heaven's sake, stop and help that poor soul who's stranded on the road. Is your time so important that you can't help another? If you were stuck with a flat or a more serious problem, I'm willing to bet cold, hard Washingtons that you'd dearly appreciate any help offered, and would curse the droves of rubberneckers that gawk as they soar on by to their all-important meeting with the McDonald's drive-thru attendants.