verbosity

Uno, Dos, Mach3, Quattro

Wasting my money and my skin, so you don't have to.

Shaving has always been both a chore and a nightmare for me. I've been blessed with wonderfully sensitive facial skin, making the morning routine a painful exercise in bloodletting. To top it off, I shave the hair on my top off--chrome dome Blaine--which provides a different type of integument, topography, and crop for a blade to tackle. I've tried all sorts of razors over the last decade, dabbling in the electrical, disposable, and refillable arts. The Quattro has been getting a lot of air time over the past few months, so I finally broke out the wallet and gave 'er a whirl.

Experience has taught me that it takes my skin about a month to become accustomed to a new shaving implement. While this early mishap was discouraging:

I was determined to give the Quattro the Full Monte that every other razor received. After all, one not-so-little nick was nothing compared to the full-facial burn that the electrics inflicted on me.

The Quattro's blades are wrapped with a thin wire to prevent the blades from catching the skin and nicking it, an idea Schick previously used on their Protector razor.

Despite the laceration shown earlier, the wires do their job well. If you suspect, however, that the wires prevent a really close shave, and might be uncomfortable, you'd be right. Just like running your finger along the blade of a knife is a good way to get cut while feeling perpendicular to the length is safe, wires aligned with the direction of the razor's motion feel like they're heading straight to Dermisville. They don't actually cut. It'd probably be less painful if they did.

The pivoting head doesn't react as well to contour changes as it should. The blade would often "skip" over anything but the smoothest of surfaces, which made certain portions of my scalp require multiple passes. Changing the angle at which I held the handle helped to some degree, but never completely solved the problem.

Due to inadequate conditioning strips, the friction of four blades, the protecting wires, or the combination of the three, the Quattro has a surprising amount of friction to it. Even with a good gel, I felt like I had to use far too much force to accomplish my shave. Had it not been for those safety wires, I would likely have some interesting photos of facial injuries.

The handle is a bit heavy, but feels solid in the hand and doesn't slip. However, it's too thick. It doesn't fit in the hole on my shower shaving mirror. I guess handle size hasn't been standardized. Perhaps someone should write up an RFC.

And what the fuck is up with the stand?

Seriously, what the fuck is that? It's supposed to have a "futuristic look". If you expect everything in the future to look stupid and cheap, then it's okay to call the stand futuristic.

Conclusion: The Quattro is a pretty good razor. One of the best I've used. I'm serious. Even with the problems I described, the Quattro still provided a fairly good overall shaving experience, from comfort to quality. But--and here you need to picture a posterior of the magnitude that can kill, or at least maim. If your imagination isn't up to the task, you can always rely on Rikishi--the Quattro still doesn't hold a candle to the current king.

The Gillette MACH3Turbo has none of the Quattro's flaws. I do nick myself every now and then with it, but that's a fair trade for the closer and more comfortable shave it provides. After the Quattro's trial period was over and I popped a fresh cartridge into my trusty MACH3 handle, not knowing what to expect after a one-month hiatus, I was blown away. The blade flew across my face and noggin, gliding so effortlessly that I wondered if my technique was rusty, and that the result would be a poor shave. Nope, awesome. Considering that the Quattro blades cost almost as much as the amazingly expensive Turbo ones, there's absolutely no reason to support the Quattro family. Don't buy the regular MACH3 blades either; the Turbo ones are noticeably better. The Turbo and non-Turbo handles are basically identical, and accept both MACH3 blade styles.

Do ignore the Turbo's indicator strip.

According to that faded green line, I should be replacing my blades every seven seconds or so. It's a damn good way to con unobservant folk into buying more blades, but my razor stays sharp and well lubricated long after that color has gone. Change your blade when your shave quality starts to decline or your skin-irritation level begins to rise. You'll know when it's time.

My last bit of shaving advice concerns lubricants. Use them. Try several brands and styles until you find one that works well with your skin and hair type. It's worth the money to experiment, switching products before using up the whole container. Once you find that magic gel or cream, your shaving shall forever be more tolerable. I happen to like these two products:

I cycle between the two every month or so, as my skin seems to build up a resistance to the soothing effects of a product over time, similar to why people cycle between different shampoos to clear product build-up (not something I worry about anymore, heh).

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