verbosity

Underwater Antics

Alcohol (the consumable variety), like sex, is a comedic staple. We expect it, yet somehow it's still surprisingly funny. (Please excuse the antonym usage in the previous sentence; sometimes I think I'm being witty when I'm just being obnoxious. Only sometimes though...) The linked comic doesn't even explicitly say that the liquid in question is alcohol, but we know it is. We know. Drinking soda underwater just isn't funny, and soda on a golf course isn't amusing the way drinking and driving is.

The element of surprise...I envision Sex and Booze as spices in the Comedic Recipe. As we full well know Emeril is going to shout Bam! as he kicks those grilled chicken breasts up a notch, it still elicits excitement from us. Excitement? Oops, I meant to say "an incredible urge to ram my fist through the television screen, hoping I can reach out and 'touch' Emeril," an urge the imminent repair bill and hand lacerations are barely sufficient to contain. Please say I'm not alone here.

Replacement with Displacement

Despite the valiant efforts of my favorite Frontier Harley-Davidson salesman, Jay Eilts,

a dealership in the Midwest that would be willing to trade their Black & White Softail Deluxe could not be found. So, we tweaked the specs on a bike already on order. In a little over 5 weeks, I will own this:

Below are a few pictures (shamelessly borrowed from Frontier's site) Jay took at the recent dealer's meeting in San Diego. The bike shown is in Black Pearl.

Before I pick the bike up, it'll have the wonderful Stage 1 Big Bore Kit installed (along with a few other goodies).

Since I've now made the leap, my existing Harley will be sold or traded in soon. If you're interested, let me know. Previous posts about the bike:

For Sale, My Baby
Displacement, defects, dry weight

I have no more religion

Imagine my surprise when a new voicemail appeared on my phone from Tycho. Yes, the Tycho from Penny-Arcade. Imagine my excitement when I heard him announce that I'd been selected as one of the 20 participants in the Omegathon at PAX. Imagine my extreme disappointment when I had to call Jer...err, Tycho back to inform him that I would be unable to compete. The earliest Saturday flight, which I'm on, doesn't arrive (if it's even on-time) until 09:30, the event center is a good half-hour away from the airport assuming a shuttle leaves right as I hit the curb, and the first Omegathon event starts at 10:00. It'd be close, but I can't risk being "that guy" who won a slot, then didn't make the event. Curse the gods, curse them! 'course, if I do end up arriving at PAX before 10:00, I'll be doubly pissed...

Oh well. Hopefully someone from LNK will represent. May that person not look as foolish as I would have dominating in DDR.

Displacement, defects, dry weight

A few more bike details, for those of you who have requested them, and for the curious. Forgive any slight inaccuracies; some of this is from memory, some from research.

Wet weight: 525 lbs.
Stock horsepower at wheel (estimated real, not claimed): 45 hp
Stock torque (est.): 47 ft. lbs.
After mods (the "Harley Tax") power, estimated): 55 hp
Modded torque, est. : 53 ft. lbs.

Bike defects, as I'm honest:
- A few good scratches on one mirror edge. Not noticeable unless you're looking for them.
- Front snap on one saddlebag recently broke [right around when I had it in for service :( ]. Doesn't impact the use of the bag, but could cause the flap to wave a bit in high wind. It's stiff leather though, and I haven't noticed any problem while riding. Any leatherworker (such as a shoe place) should be able to replace the snap easily.
- Stock mufflers are a bit scratched and missing the baffles...<gasp>! :) They're in a box, will go free with the bike if you want them, and are...loud. The SE mufflers on the bike now have a good sound, perform better, and aren't nearly as likely to get you a ticket.

DOOM * DOOM * DOOM

As I stepped off the escalator to enter the horror known as "Westfield Shoppingtown" (what kind of crappy name is "shoppingtown", anyway?), a familiar song intro began to play over the mall's PA system. "No way," I thought to myself, "the mall people can't possibly know about Modest Mouse." A few seconds later, my fear was confirmed. Somebody cool was commanding the music, be that person local or one of those satellite DJ's spinning the Muzak mixes. "Float on" greeted me warmly as I cruised into GameStop to score my reserved copy of DOOM3, and was still playing to see me off the unholy shopping turf. One of my better purchasing experiences, to be sure.

So, gamers, what's your Super Turbo Turkey Puncher 3 high score?

For Sale, My Baby

For Sale:

One (1) Harley-Davidson 2001 XLH883C Sportster Custom in Rich Red.
$5995 and zero pennies.

Low miles, premium leather saddlebags, Screamin' Eagle air cleaner and exhaust, jetted carb, touch of extra chrome.

Why? Because either I sell it fast, or I'm trading it in. I'm not a two-timing sonofabitch, and I've fallen in love with this girl:

The only question left is: Black Cherry Pearl or Two-tone Glacier White Pearl and Vivid Black? The Black Cherry is oh-so-nice, a cavern except where the light hits it, like a bing cherry, picked and sitting in the fruit bowl for a week. But the two-tone just screams Retro like the rest of the bike, pairing lovingly with those fat whitewalls. Hey James, where's that picture you took of me on the Lave Red Sunglo version?